"omg gemma listen these people in america be crazy they over here pullin on niall n shit and zayn ready to choke a bitch not to mention louis’ bitch ass keeps sayin west side he gon die here i feel it."
#AU where harry works for a travel magazine#and he’s been asked to photograph the summer olympics in brazil#which of course he says yes to because who passes up that chance#and it turns out that one of his photographer friends zayn is currently living there#so the first night he gets there they go to this bar to catch up#and harry is sweltering even though he’s got his hair tied back in a bandana#so he absently cools himself down#dragging the ice cold beer bottle along his neck#when he a guy watching him from a across the bar#an eyebrow cocked and his lips pursed#and fuck..he’s really fit#his hair looks like he’s been in bed all day#and his scruff and cheekbones and making harry swallow hard#and he’s startled out of his day dream by the bleach blonde bartender#passing him a beer and a note#’looks like you have an admirer’#so harry carefully unfolds the note igonring zayn’s snickers#and he blushes as he reads it#’I’ll keep sending beers over as long as you keep rubbing them over yourself like that’#so harry makes a big production of it#closing his eyes and licking his lips and sucking on the bottle suggestively#when finally a hand clamps on his shoulder#and there’s a whisper in his ear#’you better be going home with me you right tease’#he does#and he also finds out that louis is on the football team#so his trip just got that much better#and hotter (x)
- NABISCO, ALL OF NABISCO, HARRY LAUGHING AT LOUIS MAKING FUN OF HIM, THEM DOING THAT DANCE THING TOGETHER, LOUIS WATCHING HARRY EATING, THIS THING THAT NEVER GOT EXPLAINED:
- LOUIS’ FUCKING FACE I WILL NEVER GET OVER IT:
WOOPS MORE THAN 5 >:))
Life hack: if someone makes a racist/sexist joke, say, with total seriousness, “I don’t get it, can you explain it”
Then watch them crash and burn
"…And then I said, ‘go make me a sandwich!’ haw haw haw."
"I don’t get it."
"What’s not to get."
"Why would she make you a sandwich?"
"Because… She’s a girl."
"You can’t make yourself a sandwich?"
"I can make myself a sandwich."
"Cool, go make me one too."
[Smooth Criminal plays]